


Touch and Grow

by angelcult



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Adopted Michael Mell, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, i just want Rich to be happy and safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 11:09:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcult/pseuds/angelcult
Summary: Jeremy and Michael worry about Rich more often than not, but now they’ve been out in a position to try and take some form of action to help him.





	Touch and Grow

It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault, Rich couldn’t really blame him for  _ not  _ knowing, but he was a bit too preoccupied with a panic attack to tell him that it was fine.

It wasn’t really fine, he was curled up in a ball in the corner of Jeremy’s bedroom after his father had been herded out of the room and away from Rich, who he’d unknowingly triggered when he’d approached him from behind and rested a hand on his shoulder. 

Jeremy looked uncomfortable, hands fidgeting but knowing it was best to not touch Rich. It took awhile for him to calm down, and even when he did, he was still fidgety and jumpy.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Rich, I didn’t know-“

“Yeah, that was obvious, Tall-ass.” Rich snapped and when Jeremy flinched away from him, he sighed and clasped his hands together. “I’m.. I didn’t mean to snap at you, I just.. Need to get out of here.”

Jeremy nodded quickly, stumbling around the room to grab his cardigan and shoes before looking back at Rich, who was now standing but still had his back pressed to the wall.

He could see all of the room from where he stood, no one could sneak up on him, he was safe in that little corner of plaster and paint.

“Come on, we can use the kitchen door since I doubt my Dad’s in there right now.”

Rich nodded and grabbed his own camo jacket from the bed and tugged it on, following Jeremy out of the room, and down the hall. The taller boy’s words rang true as he led them through the kitchen and no father figures of any sort were seen.

“Where are we going, Heere?”

Rich was trying to be nice, or at least understanding towards Jeremy while the panic was still rushing through him with unwanted adrenaline. After the incident with the Squips, the two of them had begun to understand each other in a weird way. They  _ had  _ been synced, making them compatible but also allowing Rich and Jeremy to have a brief emotional understanding of one another.

The others may not have felt it, as they had their own Squips for an hour, tops, but Rich knew that  _ Jeremy  _ knew how their bond had been changed and manipulated. 

“We’re going to Michael’s.”

Rich shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes constantly checking around him as he walked beside Jeremy, tense.

“Are his parents going to be home?”

“Probably not. They aren’t home much because of work.” Jeremy was already texting Michael, telling him that he would be there soon and that Rich would be there with him.

**M:** _yeah, it’s cool, man just use the front door my moms haven’t fixed the side one yet _

**J: ** _ got it, in a few  _

The two of them walked in relative silence, with Jeremy occasionally casting Rich worried glances and it was slowly getting on the shorter boy’s nerves. 

“Okay, if you have something to say, say it.” His lisp didn’t make his voice any less threatening and mean when he wanted it to, and Jeremy sighed.

“What.. Happened? Back at my place?”

Rich didn’t respond, looking a little embarrassed but mostly angry. 

“Nothing happened, Heere.”

“Dude! You have a fucking panic a-“

“ _ Nothing happened. _ ” 

Jeremy would have usually dropped it by then, but how could he? He’d never seen Rich that scared before, even when he’d been asked around for Mountain Dew Red in a haze or when he was in the hospital and he came out like it was such a simple task. 

“Something is clearly wrong, Rich.” Jeremy stopped walking, and Rich begrudgingly did so as well since he didn’t know where Michael lived.

“Drop it, Tall-ass, it isn’t even your business.” Rich hissed, glad his hands were in his pockets because as he dug his nails into the skin of his palm, he knew he was bleeding. 

“I think as your friend, you can at least tell me how to help you.” Jeremy argued and Rich scoffed, rolling his eyes so hard he nearly lost them in his skull.

“I don’t have to tell you shit-“

“You told me that your dad drinks,” Rich went quiet but he shrugged in a careless manner. “And.. And you looked really worried when you said it, like you’d said too much-“

Rich cut him off quickly. “Well, everyone’s parents drink-“

“My dad doesn’t drink. Michael’s parents don’t drink to the point where their son is scared of them-“

“I’m not fucking scared, alright!?” 

His voice echoed through the empty space between them and they both fell silent, anger visible in how tense Rich was and the way he was watching Jeremy.

The fear was there, like he was waiting for something. Jeremy hissed through his teeth and went to place a hand on Rich’s shoulder when he flinched away.

Jeremy felt guilty but he also realized something he didn’t  _ consider _ , that made him grow cold. 

“Rich..”

“Think about whatever bullshit you’re going to say next-“

“Does he… Does he h-“

“I’m not answering that. Let’s start walking again, Headphones is waiting on us.”

Jeremy swallowed and nodded. They walked the rest of the way in silence. 

  
  
  


Knocking on the door, Jeremy was surprised when Michael’s mother, Eleanor opened the door. She looked a little surprised to see them but smiled when she did.

“Jeremy! I’m so glad to see you!” She pulled him into a quick hug and then looked at Rich. “I don’t believe I’ve met you before.”

Rich was thrown off by this woman almost immediately. She was tall and her skin was a few shades lighter than Michael’s. She wore a wedding ring, she didn’t look at Rich like he was a troublemaker.

“I’m uh, Rich Goranski, ma’am.”

She smiled a little and waved them both in.

Jeremy watched Rich out the side of his eye, taking in the way he looked around at the interior of the house. Eleanor led them to the dining room and told them to have a seat.

“Michael’s helping me cook but he’ll be with you two in a little bit.” She smiled and went to lay a hand on Rich’s shoulder.

He flinched and she moved her hand back, concern filling her eyes briefly before she seemed to come to a conclusion of some sort before going to the kitchen.

“I thought you said his parents wouldn’t be home.” Rich said in a low voice, eyebrows furrowed. There was a rising panic.

He’d already had a breakdown in front of Jeremy and his father, but now he’d deal with one in front of Michael’s mother, father, and more than likely, the boy himself.

“I said  _ probably,  _ and besides, I picked this place for a reason-“

Jeremy didn’t know how he’d never noticed it, the obvious nervousness around men, his ticks and flinches that the Squip must’ve been hiding, but now that it was gone, everything was spilling out over the edges. 

“Hey, guys!”

Michael walked in, wearing his signature red hoodie, wiping his glasses off as he took a seat next to Jeremy, Rich figured it was more instinct to place himself besides his best friend.

“What’s up, Headphones?”

“I’m not wearing them today, though.” Michael slid his glasses back into place, and smiled between them but it quickly fell, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Is something wrong?” It was so odd for Rich to see this usually aloof or quiet kid so tuned into the emotions of a room he’d just walked into. 

It was almost uncomfortable, like you couldn’t hide anything from him. 

“No-“

“Yeah-“

Michael looked between Jeremy and Rich, not sure which to believe for a moment before his eyes settled on Rich.

“You look tense, man.” His eyes darkened for a brief moment before he seemed to remember something and the look lessened. 

“I’m not tense.” It was an obvious lie and Michael hoped that the look of disappointment showed clearly on his face. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Rich.” Michael wasn’t always as gentle as Jeremy, Rich realized, he knew when it was necessary to be gentle or rough. He clearly knew that being gentle with Rich would not be a surefire way to get him to speak, or at least, tell the truth.

  
  


“What’s wrong, man?” Michael was caring, too, Rich noticed. He knew how to be firm but still caring, he knew how to make his presence gentle. He leaned across the table a little, and Jeremy smiled a little seeing his best friend being so  _ in his zone. _

Jeremy was used to Michael’s naturally caring nature but he knew that not many people were used to it.

“Fuck, you two aren’t gonna drop this, huh? Whatever, whatever.. Okay, so, Jeremy, you know how your Squip was a guy?”

“Yeah, why? What does this have to do with anything?”

Rich rolled his eyes and laid his hands on the table, staring at the cuts in his palms from his nails. He relished in the sting. 

“Well, Squips are supposed to improve everything  _ so  _ the only way to do that is to be someone who you’d.. Listen to. Someone you’d look up to, or at least feel safe around. You feel safe around older men who you believe you could look up to, almost like… A father figure..” Rich trailed off when he watched Jeremy’s eyes flicker with a few different emotions, before they settled on sadness.

“How’d you figure that all out?”

Rich laughed a little, but it was mirthless. “I learned that from mine. She, uh…” Rich sighed, hands clasped in front of him.

“That’s what mine told me, after I asked why she.. Looked the way she did.” 

He could still remember her, a short woman, no taller than Rich with green eyes that glowed and a short bob. He could still remember her words.

_ “Richard, as a Squip, I take the form of whatever will make the process easier and smoother. As my goal is to guide you to success, my appearance is based on a few factors. I do not want to be someone you’d distrust subconsciously, like an older man.”  _

_ Rich had tried to laugh it off but, he knew that she was right.  _

_ Men terrified him.  _

  
  


“Yours was a woman?” Michael asked and Rich nodded, hands clasped again. Michael reached over slowly, holding his hands so that Rich would see his intent and gently pried them apart.

His nails were bloody and so were his palms, making Jeremy and Michael wince.

“I’ll go get a rag.”

Michael stood up and left the room, leaving Jeremy and Rich alone to ponder in silence.

“You’re scared of your dad.”

Rich didn’t answer, but it was validation enough of Jeremy’s statement. 

Michael returned and was careful as he wiped the blood from Rich’s palms, and none of them spoke the entire time. It was somber, filled with some sort of dread.

The front door opened and Rich jumped, remembering his initial irritation at Jeremy for Michael’s parents being home.

_ His dad must be home. Michael’s pretty tall, he must have his dad’s height, he’s probably a big man who hits hard and can’t handle his alcohol, and he’s- _

He’d zoned out, not aware of the blond woman who walked into the room. 

“Hey, Michael.”

“Hey, Mom…” He was visibly distracted by the boy across from him, who had a faraway look in his eyes. Jeremy seemed nervous but he greeted her shakily.

“Oh, uhm, hey- hey, Mrs. Mell.”

“Are you boys okay?”

Rich zoned back in and was met with the sight of a blond woman who was looking between all three of them in concern.

“Oh, uh, yes, ma’am.”

“You don’t have to call me that, just call me Jessie, or  _ Mrs. Jessie,  _ if you wanna be formal.”

“Okay, Mrs. Jessie, I’m Rich.”

She gave them all another once over before going to greet her wife.

“Those are your... moms?” Rich asked a little belatedly, looking back at Michael who nodded slowly, still not sure about what to do or say about the way that Rich had briefly blanked on them. 

“Rich, I was adopted.”

“Oh.”

They lapsed into silence before Rich finally spoke. “I thought that was your father..”

“I know, and it’s okay, man. I don’t totally get it, but it can be hard. Don’t worry though, you two can definitely spend the night, and we can get sto-.. I mean, play video games all night.”

“Michael, what did I say about smoking weed in the basement again?”

“Sorry, ma!”

The three of them looked at each other before bursting into laughter. It took a bit for them to calm down, but when they did, Michael motioned for them to follow him down to the basement.

He grabbed the towel off of the table and disappeared before coming back without it and down they went.

Michael’s room wasn’t the entire basement, but it was a good portion of it that was separated from where the washing machine and dryer were by a red curtain.

It was littered with retro paraphernalia of all kinds, video games, posters and a host of many more things.

There was also a large plush bed with two bean bag chairs on the floor and a globe chair in the far corner. 

They all took their respective seats, Jeremy and Michael on the bean bags and Rich dragging the chair over to climb into it.

“Okay, I know you’re probably tired of talking about this but I can’t just.. Leave you hanging or whatever, you’re my friend. My moms are foster parents but uh, they also know some really cool people who work in protective services so-“

“I already know where this is going, but no.. I just have one more year of putting up with my dad’s shit and then I’m gone, alright? No more sneaking into the house, no more screaming matches..”

“But where will you go?” Jeremy asked, curled up in a manner that would be cuter if not for the topic of conversation.

“I..” Rich trailed off and looked away, eyebrows furrowed deeply, a lost expression briefly crossing his face.

“You don’t know.” Jeremy finished and then looked back at Michael, who was watching Rich.

“You don’t have to do it right now. Or even this week but.. But I want you to try to talk to someone, okay? I can’t force you but I also don’t want anything bad to happen to you, man. Abusive parents are.. Unpredictable.”

Michael looked a little dazed as he spoke, and Rich wondered if he knew what it was like, but he didn’t ask, he was scared of the answer he’d get. 

“Besides, I’m pretty sure they already suspect, my moms. They work with a lot of abused kids and they can see the signs, I guess?”

Rich felt weird calling his father’s treatment of him abuse, but it seemed that that’s what it was, clear as day.

He curled up in the chair and sighed.

“Fine, fine.. I’ll see what I can do.”

He decided to stay the night with Michael and Jeremy, and his dad didn’t call because he probably didn’t even care, or he was too drunk to notice that he was one son short, not that he paid much attention to him anyway unless he deemed that he’d somehow “got in the way”. 

Michael’s moms were amazing, they were gentle but not awkwardly so, and caring. If Rich ate most of the food at dinner, no one cared because they kept piling more on his plate. 

  
  


“Michael, you better not be smoking down there.”

“I’m not, mom!” He called as he licked and rolled a joint, eyeing the lighter on the floor. Rich hid a snicker behind his hand and Jeremy was smiling with familiarity of Michael’s actions.

“Here’s the plan,” He kept his voice a whisper. “We get high as a kite and then we raid the refrigerator for snacks.”

They all came to the consensus that doing so would be a wonderful idea, and it didn’t take long until the plan was in effect and they were all staring blearily at the pile of snacks they rid the pantry and fridge of. 

“We should eat that chocolate before it melts.” Jeremy offered and it didn’t sound like too bad of an idea.

“Hey, guys..” Rich was laying upside down on Michael’s bed, running his fingers over and over a scar on his wrists that looked deep and recent, Jeremy and Michael didn’t know how they didn’t notice.

“Thanks for uh, helping with that stuff earlier, with my dad. He’s.. He’s fucking terrible.” There were tears in his eyes but they didn’t fall as he righted himself and spoke.

“I’ll talk to your moms tomorrow.”

Michael smiled a little and so did Jeremy, they could see that Rich was struggling, in that moment, to express just how much gratitude they felt towards him.

“You’re our friend, Rich. We’ve got your back.”

A two-player game had just upgraded to three. 


End file.
